I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize