dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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