she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
