Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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