I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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