Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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