OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
