you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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