getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
