hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
