you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
