she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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