i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can't turn off my feet"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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