The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize