Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
