I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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