Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
