I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so much tequila, so little girl.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
