Well douche your snatch and let's go!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
