We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
They are going to name an STD after you.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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