Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
