Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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