no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
