If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
