does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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