i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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