enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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