I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where did you get a picture of my penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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