she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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