I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize