I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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