god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
