billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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