i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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