the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize