Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize