Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
