well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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