do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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