Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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