i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
