You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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