We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
3pm strippers are depressing
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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