I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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