??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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