just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
