i'm lost and i look like a hooker
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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