My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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