I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
