OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize