porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
