You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
