Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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