oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
