I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just blew my weed a kiss
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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