sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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