Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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