thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He shit in the fireplace
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There are leaves in my underwear?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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