hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
