That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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